are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
