Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
