i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
