its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Randomize
