We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
