I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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