the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
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