The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
