I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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