i just google imaged poop.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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