1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
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