There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just blew my weed a kiss
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Randomize
