there was a trapeze. enough said
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
