i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Welp...herpes.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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