i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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