He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
