I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Idk if I want to put a bra on
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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