I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
