Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
