Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
