so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
