Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
