and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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