At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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