Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
