What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
