playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
