So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
barbara walters just said penis...
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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