Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
