I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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