My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
did you just send me my own nude
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
