okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
