Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
