You know, be my cock's hype man.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
