i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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