The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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