in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
