btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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