my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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