She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
