as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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