Don't you send me to vm
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Randomize
