HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
