she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
We are all done wearing pants today
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
