All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Your cock deserves a montage
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
