Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
