OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
