Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
