nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
