I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
