dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
